Week 3. I began three shots a day at the beginning of the week. I continued with the Lupron I'd been doing for the previous two weeks, and then they added Gonal F and Menopur, which are both follicle stimulating hormones that basically force your ovaries to start maturing eggs. The first few days were a DOOZY and caused some major bruising, but beyond that, I began giving them to myself and they weren't nearly as bad. I did wig out one day after I had attempted to put the needle to my belly a good ten times with no luck and 7 little blood spots later, and I called Cory down and made him do it. He injected too quickly and I had a hefty bruise from that one. That was the first, and only, time I cried with shots. Tears began to pour. Poor, poor Cory. But poorer me. :)
The tricks I found to ease the discomfort of injections were icing it first (thanks mom!), going really slow with the injection so I wouldn't bruise, and listening to music to take my mind off things. The bruising was pretty sore, which was super fun. I began calling them my "baby battle wounds!" My garment line and seat belt loved hitting right on them, and every time our giant golden doodle, Indy, would jump on me she would hit them. It was pretty miserable. haha Needless to say, I am so grateful we got the shots figured out. I was beginning to wonder if my stomach would ever be one color again. It's still not, but we are getting there. Now, I am never one to post pictures of my body. I'm super uncomfortable with the situation, BUT I really want my children to know what I went through to get them here, and so I wrote over most of my stomach. haha! But you get the gist of the bruising, right? And do you see all those prick marks on the other side? Yep. Those are not freckles. #life
Around day 4 of the follicle stimulating shots I began to feel my ovaries getting to work. I kind of imagine them like little factories just producing tons of follicles. I wasn't super uncomfortable at that point... yet. By day 7, which was Saturday, I was basically dying. Waddling around like an oompa loompa because, yep, there's an ovary over each leg and every step is extremely jarring. If you've been through this before, you know exactly what I am talking about. My insides literally feel like they are being stretched to the limit. And when I went in for one of my ultrasounds on Sunday, the nurse told me that my ovaries had tripled in size and are pushing on my bladder. It sounds like pregnancy, but there is no growing baby inside. There are just tons of half babies maturing and waiting to be fertilized. It's kind of adorable if you take the discomfort out of it. :) My little eggies. Making their debut just in time for Easter!
When we asked her what her thoughts were on getting genetic testing done on our embryos she was so helpful. She explained that with us being as young as we are that she didn't think it was necessary to spend the $3,000 to have them tested. It was comforting to hear that and eased some of my worries in that regard. I feel like the staff at our fertility center is becoming my family. Every time I walk in I'm like, "I'm home!" Gosh, it's like I've been there so often, it's beginning to feel that way.
I had to go in for ultrasounds and blood work on Friday, Sunday, and Monday and I never thought I'd say this, but I'd rather have a vaginal ultrasound that have my arm pricked one more freaking time. I must be such a baby, but my heart starts pounding and my hands get SO clammy every time they draw my blood. Seriously. I never thought I would get to this point. By now, whenever they tell me to "undress from the waist down" I'm like, "I know the drill...See you in a minute!" and I am not one bit nervous. It's craziness.
How have I felt physically during week 3? Just exhausted. I'm the same old forgetful girl. Nothing has changed much in that department, other than the pregnant-looking, hard as rock, distended belly.
Things that have gotten me through this week:
-My mom. Cory was out of town from Tuesday-Friday, and my mom literally saved me from having a meltdown.
-Music. I know I said this one last week, but sue me. Celine Dion was one of the major faves this week. Did you know she had to do IVF seven times to get her sons?? I love her even more now. Like I said, people that have been in the trenches...
-Baths. Ain't nothinn' soothes those pounding ovaries like a good sit in the tub. It's my other home away from home.
Okay, it seems that not much has changed as far as what gets me through the day. I'm pretty sure these are all the same things that I put last week. What can I say, I am a creature of habit.
Something dumb I did this week? I almost backed into one of our cars with our other car. What?? Literally, I looked back and I was an inch from hitting it. Thank the HIGH heavens that, for what ever reason, I had decided to put my foot on the brake. That was the last thing we needed. What a tender mercy!
I had an epiphany as I was driving home this week. I was in my car by myself and singing along to the radio, and I had this thought-- I can be going through trials and still feel like myself. I still felt happy and in a good mood. We are not our trials. I am not infertility! We are so much more than our circumstances- it's how we act in our circumstances! It's so hard not to get so caught up in the daily grind of this, and although I've had some extremely "off" days and my moments of sorrow, for the most part I've felt pretty dang okay.
It's because we all live under this blanket of grace that the Savior so willingly provided. The atonement. A free gift. He helps us get through our lives and our trials because "He knows how to succor his people according to their infirmities." I've felt my burden lightened so much through this process and I know it is because of Him.
He has blessed me with faith and hope. He's blessed me in so many countless ways.
Time has flown. To me, that has been one of my greatest blessings through all of this.
And may it continue to fly!
Truthfully, I mean it when I say that this process hasn't been nearly as bad as I had thought it would. For that I am so grateful and I pray that that continues to be the case!
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