Are you a candidate for bangs?
In our family we have lots of experiences and all different colors of hair. Mine being the nondescript sort of mousy that people don't know what to call. (I call it "jet gray!") Your hair isn't really blonde, but it's not brown... blah, blah, blah. Well does it really matter?? It's blonde. I think...
Anyway.. My mom made up a poem (how sweet) about all of the hair going on in our family. She started this poem when I was about 4 and there were only three children: Adam, me, and Alex- the originals. ;) She finished it a few years ago once the rest of the pests were here.
Here it is:
A poem about hair, read if you dare!
Our mother lots of colors she's gotta-
Our father's just plain terra cotta.
Our first born is known as strawberry tart-
Our second child is blonde, yet smart. (No duh!)
And as for the Big Old he's peche a la cart!
Be honest- would you rather text
or do you really want to know what comes next?
We had three more and they all turned out blonde-
The boy with the cowlick, of him we're so fond!
A girl came next- "thin and wispy" we say-
then comes "BIG BUSINESS"- get out of her way!
This is the end of our nice little tale-
The stuff on your own head? Please treat it well!
Isn't that the most messed up thing you've ever heard?? :) If you know my family, you will laugh out loud. Cam really is BIG BUSINESS! Watch out world!
So as you can see, hair is a big deal in our family.
My mom married a pre-schooler with fluorescent orange hair parted in the middle (and feathered), and then one time in their late twenties she woke up and he had auburn hair parted on the side. She says it's now transformed into a khaki.
Davey K.
How does this happen? I implore!
And Adam- well he's a creamsicle (which my mom delights to inform all), while Alex is a natural cherry without a stain (aka the same color as our kitchen cabinets). Do I not sound exactly like my mom?? This is her material.
Creamsicle- case in point.
I know it's terrible quality, but it's too good not to share. I sent a family text on Easter with this picture and said "Happy Easter from the Easter egg head!" Love the round-brushed look, Ad!
I once saw a license plate sticker that had a red-head on it and it said "Adopt a ginger" and I thought of my brothers. They really are a rare breed... Love them.
One time Halle-sue-pie was getting her hair done and she has so much, and it was taking so long, that she just up and fainted! (Or should I say down??) I wish I could've seen that. Knowing me, I probably would've laughed. Why do I always laugh at other people's misfortunes. I hate myself, but not enough to stop.
Another time my grandma Myrlene told me that I looked like a movie star with bangs and that they totally transformed my face. At this point I'd already grown them out. Oh. Em. Gee..
My other grandma, Gramma Dorothy, said that Heavenly Father accidentally put her hair line too far back and considers herself a candidate for bangs.
I think she looks amazing! And I love seeing her stir that pot of toffee. It's one of my favorite traditions.
The story about hair that trumps ALL is when we all got lice! Can you imagine the hay-day those bugs must have been having in our mops? I shudder to think of it. My cousin/half-sister/besty Ray and I would curl our hair and find little bugs on the curling iron and then just brush them off. It makes me cringe. My head has never itched so bad.. My dad had to give me a blessing and cast them out! I think sleeping with my head wrapped in mayo was the kicker for me, though. Can't you just see the scarring that's taken place from that?? Nobody should ever have to do that. Or boil their combs or have their stuffed animals wrapped up in plastic bags for years on end. I bet this is what made my hair turn mousy.
Don't worry, though, peeps, this was a good fifteen years ago, we're all lice free now. I hope. Thank heaven!
My cousin Rache and I were rock rappelling for girl's camp one year and she had her hair in pig-tails. (Can you see where this is going?) And one of her pigtails got wound up in the pulley thing mid-cliff and she was just hanging there with her hair stuck. Luckily, they were able to get it out without having to cut any of it. But, how scary is that?? Again, I think I laughed at first. But only until I realized that she was actually stuck, and then I think I almost cried! Poor Rache. She's really been tormented. That doesn't stop her from having long hair now though.
One time in high school we were sitting together at a football game and I felt something tickley down my bum (that's when shirts that didn't cover your plumber's crack were in) and I looked over and HER HAIR WAS GOING DOWN MY PANTS! News flash, Ray! :) We laughed and laughed!
I was on campus one time and this guy came up to me and asked me what my last name was. I told him and he said that someone he'd talked to knew a girl from Alta that had long blonde hair. Then he looked at me and said, "But your hair's not really blonde, but it's not brown..." as he trailed off. The next time I went to my hairdresser I said, "GIVE ME A FREAKING HAIR COLOR!"
Love that I married a brownie! I hope our kids don't get the mouse look.
Does anyone have any funny hair stories or mops that they need to vent about?? I tell Corny everyday that I am shaving my head. It's just too much up-keep! It's either that or I'm letting the natural gray come in. It's your choice, babes.
In other news, we are getting ready to leave Ohio. My brother and his wife left this morning and to say it's been a hard day would be an UNDERSTATEMENT! I'm trunkier than all get out. GET ME OUT OF THIS PLACE! I WANT MY MAMA!
One other thing, has anyone ever had an ovarian cyst burst?? What does it feel like? I want to die. It's 80 degrees outside and I am sitting by my heater in a sweatshirt and pants. Feeling ill. Somebody diagnose me and then, for heaven's sake, HELP!
Love you all.
M
